Rex days in Red
by crazy soul dx
Summary: Follow the Adventures of Rex and the Red and Blues. This is my first Story so Please be nice. I'm adding Oc
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first story. I Do not own Rev VS Blue it's owned by Rooster Teeth**

 **Oc is with the Red Team. Name is Rex. Grammar might not be best yet.**

It was a hot day in Blood Gulch post Number One, the birds are chirping. Both teams are not planning to attack each other.

Red Base has Three soldiers at the base. Two were outside of the base talking while, the other one was inside. His name is Jack Rex. But everyone calls each other their last name so its Rex to everyone. He looks like a 15 year old kid with spiked orange short hair, green eyes, and he is short for his age. He was wearing a orange red armor and a rouge helmet and he was cleaning his weapon: a battle rifle and a his pistol.

His story is that their was he joined a program at a young age. The program was to train younger people to be soldiers. The problem was that he was late in the exams but he was in the military record so they gave him little training and sent him here in blood gulch.

Rex finished cleaning his gun he put his helmet back on. He saw two of his friends grif the guy in orange armor and simmons in the maroons talking about god and if they leave, the the blues the enemies would get the would have to box cannons.

The two of them used to give him a hard time because he was a kid. But that changed when he mandeged to drove off the blues when they attacked and he shot one of them in the arm. He also impress the leader named sarge. But he impress srge more when one time grif called him short and he shot grif in the leg. after that he got to be private first class.

"Well lets ask him hey rex why did you join the army?" Simmons asked

"Well I had a older sister who joined the army I wanted to be like her and to help people as well ." said Rex answer the question a few seconds later he added "and to fight aliens not stinking Blues.

" That's also wanted to fight but master chief blows up the whole covenant armada, and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of Blues guys. " Grif said

(On the cliff)

"-What are they doing?" said a Blue guy wearing a teal armor asked a guy in Blue armor.

"What?" said the Blue one

"-I said, what are they doing now?" the teal one asked.

"God Damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!"

"you have a rifle I can't see shit." said the teal one "Don't fuss at me, because i'm not going to just sit up here." said the teal one.

"-Ok, look the guy that shot me in the arm just came up and talk to the others." And they're just standing there and talking OK?" said the Blue one "That's all they're doing." That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk." "That's what they were doing last Week." "that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago." "So five minutes from now, when you ask me what are they doing, my answer's going to be they're still just talking, and they're still just standing there!

"-What are they talking about?" said the teal one

"-You know What? said the Blue one "I Stinking hate you!"

(Back to Red base)

"-Talk about a waste of resources". Grif said "I mean, we should be out there finding new intelligent forms of life." You know, fight them."

"I agree with you Grif "said Rex "We should be doing more stuff." "Not wasting time fighting Blues."

-"Yeah, no shit". said Simmons "That why they put us in charge."

"-Ladies!" said a red armor one which is Sarge " Front and center on the double."

"Damn." said Simmons, "Yes sir" said Grif and Rex sighed

(Where Sarge is at)

Girf, Simmons, and Rex came where there leader was at. Rex was in between from Grif and Simmons.

"-Hurry up, Ladies" said Sarge "This ain't no ice cream social".

"Ice cream social?" said Simmons

The three look back at each other. Rex shrugged his shoulders.

"Stop the pillow talk, you three" said Sarge "Anyone want to guess why I gathered you here today?"

"-Uh, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?" said Grif

"That's exactly it, private." said Sarge " (SARCASTICALLY) War's over." "We won." "Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor." "I get to drive the float, and Simmons and Rex here is in charge of confetti!"

"-I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir." said Grif

"-God damn it, private!" said Sarge "Shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep!"

"-Oh, I'd do it, too. Simmons said a dark chuckle. Rex took a few steps back after what Simmons said.

"-I know you would, Simmons." said Sarge "Good man." Couple of things, ladies." "command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number One."

"-Crap!" said Grif "We're getting a rookie." Rex and Simmons just Sighed

"-That's right, dead man." said Sarge "Our new recruit will be here within the week, but today we received the first part of our shipment from command." All three of them look to each other "Lopez! Bring up the vehicles!"

Lopez bring up a armored jeep with a mounted machine gun on it and Stopped right in front of them with a brown armor figure riding it and got out.

"Shotgun" said Simmons

"Shotgun" said Grif

"Shotgun" said Rex

"Darn it!" said Rex and Grif said

"-May I introduce our new light reconnaissance vehicle." said Sarge "It has 4-inch armor plating, mag buffer suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three." "Gentlemen, this is the M12 LRV!" I Like to call it the warthog."

"-why warthog, sir?" said Simmons asked confusion

"-Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son." said Sarge

"-No, but why warthog?" said Grif "I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig."

"-Say that again? said Sarge

"-I think it looks more like a puma." said Grif

"-What in Sam Hill is a Puma?" said Sarge

"-Uh, you mean like the shoe company" said Simmons

"No Like a puma." said Grif "It's a big cat, like a lion."

"Your're making that up" said Sarge

"I'm telling you, its a real animal!, Rex help me out here" said Grif thinking Rex would hopefully help him.

"I'm sorry Grif I would love to help but I have no idea what a Puma" said Rex with a smirk but no one saw it because he had a masked on. Grif just glared at Rex because he could feel that smirk.

"Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal." sais Sarge

"-Yes Sir." said Simmons enthusiastic

"-Look, see these two hooks?" said Sarge "They look like tusks, And what kind of animal has tusks?"

"-A walrus. said Grif

"-Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals? said Sarge Rex just chuckled at that.

(Back up top of the cliff)

"-What is that thing?" said the teal one

"-I don't know, man." said the blue one "It looks like, uh- look like they got some kind of care down there" "We'd better get back to base and report it."

"-A car." said the teal one "How come they get a car?

"-What are you complaining about man? said the blue one "We're about to get a tank in the very next drop."

"-You can't pick up chicks in a tank. said the teal one

"-You know what? said the blue one "You could fuss about anything couldn't you?" "We,re going to get a tank and you're worried about chicks." "What chicks are we going to pick up, man?" "And secondly, how are you going to pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?"

"-What kind of car is it?" said the teal one

"-I don't know, I've never seen a car like that before.' said the blue one "It looks a, Uh- like a big cat of some kind.

"-what, like a puma? said the teal one

"yeah man, there you go" said the blue one

(Back to Red base)

"-so unless anybody has my more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're going to stick with the warthog." "How about it Grif?"

"-No, sir." said Grif "No more suggestions.

"-Are you sure?"

"How about Bigfoot?"

"-That's OK.

"-Unicorn?"

"-Not really, um, I'm cool."

"Sasquatch?"

"-Leprechaun" Simmons asked

"-Hey, he doesn't need any help, man. said Griff

"-Phoenix." said Sarge

"-A Griffin." said Rex as he chuckled this was funny.

"Oh, shut up you." Grif said as he glared at Rex

"Hey Simmons! said Sarge "What's the name of that Mexican Lizard?" "Eats all the Goats?"

"-Uh, that would be the chupacabra, sir." Simmons said

"-Hey, Grif." "Chupathingy, how about that?" "I like it." "It's got a ring to it.

Grif just shook his head and left back to the base, Simmons followed him. Rex stayed and talk to Sarge.

"Hey Sarge it's about the warthog" Rex asked Sarge turn to him.

"What is it Private First Class." Sarge answered back. Rex could tell he was not in the mood to talk about the warthog.

"Well um sir It's a three person vehicle." said Rex

"Yes and?" said Sarge answered

"Um there is 5 people here including Lopez and with the recruit coming there's going to be 6 people here." Rex said "We don't have enough seats?" "What are going to do about that."

Sarge didn't know how to answered to that questions. He only cared about getting the vehicle. And getting back to Blood Gulch

"Well Private I can't fix the seating but I can give you some thing else."Sarge answered "Lopez bring in the motorcycle"

Lopez came back and he was driving on a armored motorcycle

"This will help you travel let the rest of us take care about the seating ok" Sarge said

"Ok thanks Sarge can I try out the motorcycle" said Rex

"Yes you can, see you later private" sarge said as he left.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not Red VS Blue It's own by Rooster Teeth**

 **Oc is my own with the Red team.**

It has been a week and Rex had practiced with his motorcycle. It took him a few days to master it. The others were impressed on how he could rid it.

Sarge left to Red command to get new orders. The new recruit would be here in a few but they have no idea when.

Rex was listing his options if he shot Grif and Simmons. You see, he was listening in on a very stupid conversation between Grif and Simmons. Of course he was not going to shoot Grif with a bullet but with a rubber bullet. He usually likes the arguments between Grif and Simmons, but this one was stupid.

"Hey that's not exactly what happened." said Simmons.

"Yes, it is." said Grif "You said, "I'm not going to the Vegas Quadrant." "That's enough now" Rex thought to himself as he got ready to shoot. "And Then the next thing I know, you're in the escape pod headed for"

"-Excuse me, uh sirs?" said a red armor. Rex put his gun away before anyone saw he was about to shoot Grif. "Sirs?" said Grif "Ah, crap."

"I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost Number One and speak to whoever's in charge?" said the red armor guy. "Sorry man, Sarge is at command getting orders" said Rex.

"Yeah, ain't nobody in charge today" said Grif "Well Rex should be in charge but he doesn't want to be leader." "I still can't believed you got promoted because you shot me in the leg" said Grif to Rex.

"Actually, private. he left me in charge while he's gone."said Simmons

"You are such a kiss ass." said Grif. "Yeah, you are one." said Rex. He liked Simmons, but sometimes he was a kiss ass to Sarge.

"What ever Rex, and he also told me if I had any trouble from you, Grif , I should" said Simmons in a very bad Sarge impression" get in the warthog and crush your head like a tomato can."

Grif and Rex look at Simmons "That was the worst Sarge impression I've ever heard."said Grif.

"Ok rookie what's your story?" Simmons asked.

"Private Donut reporting for duty, sir. Said Donut. " I'm ready to fight some aliens."

"A couple things here, rookie. said Grif "Private Donut?" "I think somebody needs a new nickname." "Secondly, what's with the armor color?"

"-This is the standard issue red." said Donut.

"-Yeah, I know." said Grif "Listen, only two kinds of people wear standard issue armor, officers and recruits. And since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer."

"-We'll, they are wearing red armor. And from his voice, ain't he too young to be in the army? said Donut as he look at Rex and Simmons "-No, my armor is maroon. And Rex joined a program that let you join at a young age." said Simmons "your armor is red."

"Well, how do I get a different color armor?" asked Donut. Rex just sighed and left to go clean his weapon. "-I'll bet the Blues don't have to put up with this type of crap." said Simmons.

(Blue Base)

The Blues were looking at the Tank in aw.

"So I say to the guy, "How are you going to get the tank down to the planet?" And he goes, "I'll just put it on the ship" And I go, " If you've got a ship that can carry a tank, why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?" says dark blue.

"Hey Kid." said the teal one.

"Yeah. "said the dark blue one.

"You're ruining the moment." said the teal one "shut up!"

"Oh." said the dark blue one "Ok" "You got it, Man."

"You know what" said the blue one "I could blow up the whole God damn world with this thing."

(Back at Red Base)

"Ok, Private Donut, here's the deal"- said Simmons.

"I just refuse to call him Private Donut." said Grif as he cut Simmons off.

"Anyway," said Simmons " We've got a very important mission for you." "Do you think you can handle it?" "Absolutely" said Donut.

"We need you to go to the store and get two quarts of elbow grease." said Simmons

"Yeah." said Grif "And, uh, pick up some headlight fluid for the puma, too."

"The what?" said Donut "He means the warthog" said Simmons.

"You know where the store is, right, rookie?" asked Grif.

"What. Uh yeah" said Donut "Yeah, of course I do." "Sure" No problem."

"Well, Get going." then said Simmons. Donut went the wrong way "Other way." said Grif.

"I knew that." said Donut "Just got turned around, that's all." Donut said as he left.

"How long do you think until he figures it out there's no store?" ask Simmons.

"Well, Rex figured it out in a hour so I'd say at least a week." said Grif.

(Were Donut is)

"Elbow grease, How stupid do they think I am?" said Donut "Once I get back to base with that headlight fluid, i'm gonna talk to the sergeant."

(Blue Base)

"You know what" said the teal one" Forget what I said before." "We can definitely pick up chicks in this thing. Probably two or three chicks a piece."

"Oh, man." said the blue one "Listen to you." "What are you going to do with two chicks?"

"Church, women are like Voltron." said the teal one "The more you hook up the better it gets."

(Red Base)

"You think that we were too mean with the kid?" said Simmons

"Nah" said Grif "What's the worst that could happen?"

(Back where to Donut)

"There it is." said Donut "Oh, sweet!" "They sell tanks!"

(Blue base)

"Yeah I'll let you in on a little secret." said Church "I've uh, I've actually got a girl back home."

"Girlfriend or wife?" said the teal one

"No man" said Church. "She's just my girlfriend. "You know, we were going to get married, but I got shipped out, and- ah, you know how it works."

"Oh, well, you going to marry her when you get back?" said the teal one.

"I'm not going to get married." said the dark blue one "My dad always said why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

"Hey, rookie" said Church as he got closer to the rookie "Did you just call my girlfriend a cow?"

"No, I think he called her a tramp." said the teal one

"I'll tell you what, newb." said Church "I can sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a more important job for you do to."

"Great." said the dark blue one.

"See we've got this general." said Church.

"Right, the general guy." said the teal one.

"Who likes to come buy and make random inspections of base." said Church "So what I'm going to have you do is I'm going to have you go in the base and stand right next to the flag at attention just in case he decides to come by."

"When is he coming by?" said the dark blue one.

"We never know." said the teal one "Could be today, could be weeks from now."

"You want me to stand at attention for a week?" said the Dark blue one

"You know, you don't sound very grateful." said Church "This is the most important job at the whole base. You're going to be right there with the flag."

"What's so important about the flag?" said the dark blue one

"Oh, come on." "Don't they teach you guys anything in training?" said Church

"They didn't tell us anything about a flag." said the dark blue one "Why is it so important?"

"Because it's the flag man." said Church "You know, it's the- it's the flag! It's... Tucker, you tell him why the flag is important."

"Well it's- it's complicated." said Tucker. "The- it's Blue, we're Blue."

"It's just important, ok?" said Church "Trust us." "So when the general comes by, the first thing he's going to want to do is inspect the flag."

"Right" said Tucker.

"So just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him."

"Uh, how will I know when I see him?" said the dark blue one

"There's only three of us, rookie." said Tucker "He's gonna be the guy that doesn't look like one of us."

"Now get in there, and don't come out!" said Church calling out as the dark blue one left to the base "Man, that guy is dumber than you are."

"You mean he's dumber than you are."

"Wow, Tucker." "That was a great comeback."

"Uh, Mr. Church?" said the dark blue one "Sir" "Oh, my God!" said Church "What?" "Tucker, I swear, I'm going to kill him."

"Sorry about calling your girl a tramp." said dark blue one.

"Rookie!" "Shut UP!" said Church "Just shut up!" "You're driving me crazy!" "Get in there!" The dark blue one left and went inside.

Tucker is laughing.

"Tucker, are you laughing at me?" asked Church.

Donut came behind them "Excuse me?" said Donut "Sirs" "Can I ask you a question?"

"Dear God in heaven, rookie, if I turn and you are not inside, I can't be held responsible for what I'm going to do to you!"

"What did I do?" said a nervously Donut

"One!"

"Aw, give me a break"

"Two!"

"Fine!" said Donut has he entered the 'Store'. He say a Dark blue guy wearing armor.

"Wow!" "You got here fast." said the dark blue armor one "Why is everybody so 'freakin' rude in this canyon?" said Donut.

"I'm not, sir." said dark blue. "What can I do for you?"

"Finally, someone with a little respect around here" says Donut.

"Yes Sir!" " I assume you're here because of this."

"Wait" "Is this all you have? said Donut "Uh, yes sir." "That it" said dark blue.

"Oh, man" "This figures." "Shit." "What about elbow grease?" said Donut

"Uh-"

"Headlight fluid?" Donut look's around.

"No, all we have is this flag."

"Well, I can't go back empty handed." "I guess I'll take that."

"Sure, that makes sense." "I guess." said dark blue Donut picks up the flag

"Man, they're going to give me so much shit for coming back with just this stupid flag."

(Back to Church and Tucker)

"Well, that's enough gabbing out of us." said Church "Let's take this bad boy out for a spin." "Go ahead and hop in, Tucker."

"Me?" said Tucker "I can't drive that thing."

"You're telling me you're not armor certified?" said Church

"I Don't even know how to use the freaking sniper rifle!" "Don't you know how to drive that?" said Tucker

"No!" "Holy crap!" said Church "Who is running this 'army'?!

"Hey!" yelled The dark blue one as he exit the Blue base "Just wanted to let you know the general stopped by and picked the flag!"

"Yeah, OK!" said Church "Whatever, moron!" "Why would they give us a tank if nobody here know how to drive the damn thing?" couple of second past "wait a second." "What did he just say?

(A While later)

Tucker was looking for Donut.

"Let me get this straight." said Church "You gave this guy our flag?" "Is that bad?" said the dark blue one

"Bad" "Oh, no, that's not bad." "Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole God damned base?" "There he is!" said Tucker

"Where?" asked Church. As he got his sniper rifle and zoomed in to find Donut. "Oh yeah" "Oh, I got him!" Church continue to zoom. "He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs."

"He must be one smart son of a." said tucker

(where donut is )

"Oh, man!" said Donut "I am so freakin' lost. "Where the hell is the base?"

(Back to Blue)

"Oh shit." said Church "Hey, Tucker, look at his armor." "It's red."

"Oh, man!" said Tucker "That means it's their sergeant."

"Well, that makes sense." said Church "At least now we know how he got by our defenses." I mean who else can get pass by us."

"The Red orange guy" said Tucker

"Shut up I do not wont to talk about him" said Church. He was still angry at him for shooting him and messing up their plans "Oh you're still upset about that" said Tucker

"Uh, you know I have no I idea what you guys are talking about and He came in the back door where you guys were standing."

"Well, let's take him out, then." said Tucker

"Roger that." "Say goodnight, Sarge." said Church as he shot First, second, third, and forth time and all missed. "Son of a !" said Donut

"AH crap." said Church. Tucker just stared at Church for a few seconds Church noticed this "What" "You're really not very good with that thing, are you?" said Tucker

"Hey, It's me!" said Donut "Don't shoot!" "I'm the guy that bought the flag! "Remember?"

"Oh, great" "Now he's taunting us." said Tucker "That's just embarrassing."

" All right, that's it." said Church "I've Had it." "Rookie, you stay here." "Me and Tucker will head through the teleporter." "We'll cut him off at the pass." as Church made his way to the teleporter.

"Right" said Dark blue one "Tucker, you ready?" said Church "Let's go!" "There's no way I'm going through that thing." said Tucker

"Tucker we don't have time for this." said Church "Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?" "I don't know." said Tucker "why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?"

"We already tested the teleporter, remember?" said Church "we threw rocks through it!" said Tucker

"Yeah, and so what?" said Church "The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?"

"Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff."

"Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about, then." said Church "You're afraid of a little black stuff?"

"Yes, I am!" said Tucker "I am afraid of Black stuff."

" Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you." said Church as he brought his gun and aimed at Tucker.

"You would't." said Tucker "You know I look at it this way." said Church "Either A, we go through there and get the flag back, or B, we stay here and I get to kill you." "Either way, I win."

"For the record, I want you to know rocks aren't people." said Tucker "Duly noted." said Church

"Now get in there." said Church

"Crap!" said Tucker nervously "All right." one, two, "said Tucker has he went through the teleporter

Church and the dark blue one were looking at the other teleporter end they waited for a few seconds " Uh" said the dark blue one "He didn't come out the other side."

"Yeah." said Church hesitantly "I've, uh, I've decided i'm not going to use the teleporter. Church ran off the base "Ok, rookie, you stay here!" "I'll be back with the flag!" said Church has he ran

(When the Shot's were fired At Red Base)

Rex wondered where Donut is "Hopefully the guys aren't being mean to him." Thought Rex. The guys pulled a trick on him by saying there way a alien ship in the cave's it took an hour to find nothing. So he went back to Red base and he heard Grif say "I don't believe it took him this long, this kid is gullible" said Grif "Yeah" said Simmons after that Rex shot both of them with a rubber bullet in the stomach and then while they were down he suplexed them off the base. After that they made up.

Rex jumped as he heard 4 gun shot's after he was done eating "Are we under attack?" he thought. He got up and headed to where the others were on top of the base.

"I still have no idea what you're talking about." said Simmons "I didn't hear any shots."

"Sigh" "I keep telling you I heard 4 gun shots like bam, bam, bam, bam" said Grif to Simmons.

"Hey guys, did you hear those gun shoots?" said Rex as he came up besides them.

"Ha!" "I told you there were gun shoots" said Grif to Simmons as Grif was zooming in to see what was the shooting about. "Wait a second." "We got a Blue guy on the move out there."

"Where's he headed?" said Simmons. Grif zoomed in "Oh, crap! said Grif "It-, It's Donut, and he's got something."

"What he got" Rex said to Grif. He really wanted to know.

"It looks like" said to Grif "Simmons, Rex get the warthog."

"You mean the puma?" asked Simmons. Rex just sighed.

(Where Donut's at)

"Freeze!" said Church as he came over the hill, and he aimed his gun at Donut.

"Why why the hell were you shooting at me?" said Donut "You could a hit me!"

"Can it!" said Church "Don't try to play stupid with me, Sarge." "I know who you are." "We've been spying on you for three weeks now."

"I just got here two hours ago, and I'm not a sergeant." said Donut "I'm a private." "Wait a minute." said Church "You're not the sergeant!"

"Yeah, that's what I just said" said Donut "Well then, how the hell did you mange to steal our flag?" said Church

"Steal?" said Donut confused "I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."

"Three" said a dark suit guy s he came through a teleporter "Jesus!" said Church

"Holy shit!" said Donut "Who is this guy?"What in the hell?" said Church "Tucker, is that you?" "How did you get up here ahead of me?" said Tucker.

"And what's with that black stuff on your armor?" said Donut "Hey" said Tucker "Freeze, Sarge!"

"Will you stop calling me a sergeant?" said Donut "I'm still just a private."

"The Sarge is still a private?" "Oh, my God!" said a shocked Tucker "The teleporter sent me back in time!"

(Red base)

"Sorry Lopez." said Grif as Polka music started playing and Grif entered the jeep. "We need the jeep."

"I'll take gunner" said Simmons as he went to the back of the jeep.

"I'll take shotgun" said Rex as he sat in the passenger seat. "See you later, Lopez" "Let's roll!" said Simmons

""How do you turn off the freaking radio in this car?" said Grif

"Don't worry Lopez I'll Bring her back in one piece!" said Simmons

"Hey how did Donut even get out there?" said Rex. Grif and Simmons look back at each other.

"Well we told him there was a store in the direction of the Blue base." said Simmons felt embarrassed.

Rex just looked at Grif to Simmons a couple of times and then he Said "I should have been there when you guys said that and I should of Suplexed you guys earlier." said Rex.

(Where Donut and the Blue's are at)

"Look, I know you don't know me, but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you." said Tucker "Sometime in your future, I get stationed here in Blood Gulch, and we meet." "And this guy here, he gets promoted to sergeant of the Red army, and we spy on them." And their was this guy that shot you in the arm, and they get this new jeep, and I'm all like, there is no way you can pick up chicks in a tank!"

"Tucker, what the hell are you babbling about?" said a confused Church

"I know all this sounds crazy, but he eventually becomes a sergeant, and then one day we get a tank, and he comes and steals our flag while we're distracted. "

"Is this guy a retard?" said Donut

"Red, shut up." said Church "Tucker, listen to me." they could hear Polka music was approaching " You haven't gone back in time, ok?" "This is the guy that stole the flag." 'He's just not the sergeant." "Turns out he's just some dumb rookie who happens to have the same color armor as him." The polka music kept getting louder. "He just some how- just- for god's sake!" "What is that Music!"

A jeep just came over the hill

"Woo hoo!" yelled Rex he loved when they drove fast and jumped over things.

"Holy shit!" "Run!" "Jesus!" said both Church and Tucker as they ran from the jeep to the cliff "The jeep followed me back in time!" said Tucker. Simmons fired on Tucker and Church with a machine gun. "OW!, Git- Ow!, Ow!"

"What the hell's going on here" said a confused Grif and Rex. They got out of the jeep.

"You know what?" "I honestly have no idea what's going on." said Donut "I think everyone in this canyon is absolutely insane."

"How did you get the flag"? said Rex.

"I don't know." "I just asked for it." said Donut. Grif and Rex look at each other and then at Donut "Wait, that worked?" said Grif "I guess." said Donut "Is it not supposed to?" "I do not know." "We never even thought to try that" said Rex "Yeah just take the flag to the base. I'll explain there." said Grif

"Not until someone tells what the hell is going-" said Donut

"There's no time to explain, rookie!" said Grif "Just take the flag and go to base!" "I'll explain everything there!"

"Fine!" said Donut. Rex could hear Simmons yelling and the gunfire.

"Uh" said Rex "Back to our base, dumbass"! said Grif as Donut went the wrong way.

"Uh I know." said Donut "I just got turned around that's all."

(Back at Blue Base )

"Oh man" said the dark blue armor guy as he zoomed to where Church and Tucker were held up at. "That's not good" He zoomed in on Simmons "Oh, my God, that jeep has a really big gun." "Stay here." "Tank." "Stay here." "Tank." "Ah, screw it;" said a the dark blue guy. As he ran to where the tank was at.

(where Tucker and Church were at)

They were still being fired at even thought they had taken shelter.

"Well, we'll just wait here." said Church "That's got to run out of bullets some time."

(Five minutes later)

"My God, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?" said Church "You know, in hindsight we should have brought the tank." said Tucker

"Hey Tucker, what good is a tank going to do us if nobody knows how to drive it?" "Yeah, I can see hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy."

"We'll, yeah but- oh man I guess I gotta give that one to you."

(Blue base The dark armor one got in the tank)

The tank turned on "Hello, and thank you for activating the M808v Main Battle Tank." "You may call me Sheila."

"Hello, Sheila." "Big tank lady" said the dark blue one. Sheila asked "would you like me to run the tutorial program?"

"Oh, that'd be very nice." "said the dark blue one" "Thank you." "Tutorial program activated. This program is intended to instruct non-certified personnel in the use of this Scorpion class tank." "Let's begin with some driving. ok?" said the Tank

(Where Rex, Grif, and Simmons are at)

Rex was bored because he did nothing only hearing the gun firing "Does the jeep ever run out of bullets" thought Rex

Rex felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked back and Grif wanted to talk to him "Ok Ive got a plan But we need Simmons for it."

"Simmons!" said Grif "Help me out here. Rex." "Simmons!" yelled Rex. Both of them were looking at each other and then nodding "SIMMONS!" Yelled both of them at the same time.

Simmons stop firing and said "Man, that thing is loud." said Grif. In the background you can see a tank driving.

"What?" said Simmons he could hardly hear. "Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock and get them out." said Grif "Ok! said Simmons "Keep it down!" said Rex "Let's go before they figure out what's going on."

(where the tank was at)

Sheila said " Now that you've mastered driving the M0808v, let's move on to some of the safety feature." No!, No!, wait, go back. said the dark blue one "Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?"

(Where Church and Tucker)

"Pssst hey!" "They stopped firing." whispered Tucker "Why are you whispering?" asked Church

"Um, I don't know." whispered Tucker.

(Where Rex, Simmons and Grif are)

"Aw crap is think we can't get round this way." said Grif "Yeah no duh" said Rex. He was annoyed they had to left the jeep.

"Tell me again, why did we get out of the jeep?" A Tank was moving forward to their location. Rex turned around and he was shocked at seeing a tank.

"Well, I guess it was this or sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day long." said Grif "Hey guys" said Rex as he tried to make them looking at the tank.

"Well, at least that was fun." said Simmons. "Hey guys!" said Rex the tank was getting closer.

"What!" said Simmons and Grif. Rex just stared in the back. They turned around and saw the tank. "You guys see the tank right."

"Holy crap!" said Grif "What in God's name is that thing?" "Oh god you see it too" said Rex as he thought he was going crazy.

(Church and Tucker)

"Tucker Don't be stupid They're just trying to draw us out." said Church "No they're not." said Tucker "Look they left the jeep. They're gone." "No I'm not going" said Church "You're just scared that the orange red guy's going to shoot you. No I'm not! "said Church "Well, I don't know about this." said Church 'It seems pretty fishy, but- all right, screw it. 'Let's go get it."

(where Tank and Rex, Grif, Simmons are )

"Dudes, hold still." said Grif "I don't think it sees us." Rex just heard a beeping as the tank was aiming at Grif.


	3. Chapter 3

**I Do Not own Red VS Blue** **it's own by Rooster Teeth**

 **Red and Blue base command are not going to get () because it's going to be difficult. Rex is better in hand to hand combat but he can't beat Tex or Carolina. But he can still fight better than the Red's or Blue's**

"Why is it just sitting there?" said Grif. Ask Simmons and Rex to which neither of which he knows the answer.

"Just trying to mess with our head." said Rex. He has never been more afraid for his life because a tank was ready to shoot him and the others.

"Let's get back to the warthog." said Simmons

(Inside the tank)

"This tank is equipped with an autofire sequence that can be activated by pressing the autofire button." said Sheila

"Autofire, Autofire" said the dark blue guy. As he searched for the button. "Here, Here!" "No, wait." "Ok, that's more of a switch than a button."

(Outside the tank)

"Ok, you two ready?" said Simmons "Let's do this on three. One-" "Wait, on three?" said Grif "Or three and then go?"

"On three." said Simmons "It's always faster to go on three."

"Ok, ok." said Grif "On three."

(Inside the tank)

"Hear" said the dark blue guy. A Click was heard. Then Sheila said "Tutorial deactivated." "Autofire sequence activated."

(Out side)

"Ready" said Simmons.

(Inside the tank)

Sheila said "Acquiring targets."

(Where Church and Tucker are at)

"I'm going for the jeep" said Church "Cover me."

(Where the three Red team are at)

"One" said Simmons while Grif ran away.

Grif breathed heavy as the tank locked on the jeep. "Oh shit, oh shit!" said Grif

"Two" said Simmons. Rex turned around and found out Grif left, so Rex ran to the jeep.

"Target locked" said Sheila as she locked on to the jeep.

Church ran to the jeep.

"Three" said Simmons as he turned around and found out Rex and Grif ran to the jeep. "Oh, you backstabbing cock bites."

Grif and Church was close to the tank, and Rex was half way there. Sheila(Off screen) "Firing main cannon." As the tank fired and destroyed the jeep.

"Son of a" said Simmons as he ducked and then ran.

"Son of a !" said Grif as he ran.

"Son of a !" said Rex as he ran.

"Son of a !" said Church said as he ran back to Tucker

"Firing main canon" said Sheila and it aimed for Rex, Grif, and Simmons as they ran away. "Firing main canon" said Sheila again as the canon fired as they ran away some more. "Firing main canon" said Sheila as she fired.

Church ran back to the hill. "Hey dude. said Tucker "The jeep blew up"

"No kidding." said Church "Thanks for the update, Tucker."

Rex, Grif, and Simmons were hiding behind a rock. "Hey I have a Great idea" said Simmons sarcastically. As they heard an explosion. "Let's Get out of the jeep and sneak around the side of the rocks!" said Simmons "Great plan, you Idiot!"

"Shut up both of you" said Rex "I'm trying to listen." he tried to see if the tank was still lock on to them

"Why" said Grif "I'm seeing if it's still locked to use or if it think's we're dead." said Rex.

"Target's all eliminated. acquiring new target." said Sheila as she acquired a new target

"Hey Tucker, look at this, man." said Church "It's the rookie, and he brought the tank out to scare off the reds.

"What? No way!" said Tucker. He could not believe the rookie was driving the tank and scaring off the Reds.

"Hey rookie!" said Church screaming "Good job, man!" "Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?"

"New target acquired." said Sheila as it looked to Church. "That's not a target that's Church!" said the dark armor guy inside of Sheila. "Yeah it's me Church!" said Church "What's goin' on, man?"

"Target locked" said Sheila 'What?" "No! "Target unlock!" "Unlock!" "Please help me, nice lady!" said dark blue guy "Firing main canon." said Sheila "Uh oh." said Dark blue guy "Uh oh" said Tucker "What?" asked Church shocked Oh, son of a Bi- The tank fired.

"Holy crap!" said Tucker. He was shocked to see his friend died. "Church are you ok?" "Talk to me!" "Church!" "You shot Church, you team killing retard!" Autofire sequence deactivated." said Sheila

"Tucker" said Church weakly . "Tucker!" "Church!" said Tucker "It's going to be ok, man." "No." said Church 'I'm not going to make it." "Tucker, there's something I need to tell you. "What is it?" said Tucker "I just want you to know I always hated you." " I always hated you the most." "The guy that shot me in the arm is second, you were first." "Yeah, I know you did." said Tucker "Now hurry up and die, you prick." "Ok "said Church "Herk! "Bleah." Church is dead.

(Red base)

Rex, Grif, and Simmons managed to escape the tank.

Grif and Simmons ran to the Red base.

"What happened" said Donut "Big-tank-shooting!" "Woo!" said Grif out of breath.

"Damn, man we only ran like 300 feet." "You are really out of shape" said Simmons

"Screw you." said Grif "Where's your car?" said Donut "General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind." said Simmons

"Hey, it would have worked if that tank hadn't shown up." said Grif

"You lost the jeep?" said Donut "Lopez is going to be pissed!" "And where is Rex at." "Oh him? He should be right here." said Grif as he and Simmons looked around for Rex "You guy's lost the jeep and Rex-Oh, the Sarge, is going to be mad at both of you." said Donut "So where is it" said Donut

Just then they heard a crash as the jeep and Rex came through the air "Cccrrraaaappp" said Rex. Rex was in the driver seat.

"What the hell" said Grif confused. "how did the jeep and Rex came thought the air!" Just then they heard a explosion, near them. "Crap, what the hell was that thing? " said Donut as he grabbed the flag and ran.

"That's that tank!" said Grif "Hey. uh, Grif." said Donut "Uh, want to hold the flag for a little bit?" "No" "Keep that away from me!" said Grif. Simmons helped Rex out of the Jeep before the tank could fire again. "Hey, could you guys help me out here?" said Simmons while helping Rex.

(Where the tank was at)

The tank fired again.

"Why do you keep firing at the jeep?" asked Tucker "Because it's locked on!" "Target lock" said Sheila "Well, unlock it." said Tucker

"Last time I unlocked it, I killed Church!" said the dark blue guy "Oh, right." said Tucker. He doesn't want to be a target. "Keep shooting the jeep, then!"

(Where Red base is at)

"I hate to be the one to point this out guys, but I think we're screwed." said Donut as the tank fired again.

"Yeah, I have to agree with the rookie on this one." "And Rex has is unconscious." as he said that Rex woke up "Uuuhhh what happened?" said Rex as he woke up. "Never mind he's a wake". said Simmons. "We'll, Rex, the tank pinned us down in Red base" said Grif. "Really" said Rex as he tried to stay awake.

They heard through the radio Sarge's voice "Blood Gulch Outpost Number One." "Come in, Blood Gulch Outpost." " Come in" "Do you read me?" "This is sergeant- ""Oh, my God!" said Grif as he cut off Sarge. "Sarge, is that you?" "Roger that. private." said Sarge "I'm currently inbound to your position from Command." "Sir, this is Simmons" said Simmons as an explosion went by him.

"Hello, Simmons. I hope everything's gone all right while I've been gone." said Sarge.

"Actually, sir, things are kind of hectic right now." said Grif "The new rookie arrived, and somehow he managed to infiltrate the Blue Base. And no we have their flag, the warthog is damaged, one of our guys is dead, and there's this huge stinking tank about to destroy our base" said Grif. "Oh, and also Rex was unconscious and now he is awake and fighting to stay awake."

Grif, Simmons, and the now trying to fight sleep, Rex, heard a radio static "Am I talking to the right base? said Sarge. They could tell he did not believe Grif.

"Sarge, we are going to die here!" said Grif. "And I'm being serious about Rex too."

"We'll then hold tight, boys." "I think I got a solution to your little tank problem." said Sarge

(Where the tank was at)

"Uh oh" said Tucker. Just then a ship came over the canyon "H-Hey, Caboose" "You might want to get out of the tank. Like right now!" said tucker as he walked quickly away from the tank. "I can't figure out how to get that thing open!" said Caboose. "Night vision engaged" said Sheila.

"Rookie, Get out now!" said Tucker. Right in front of the tank the ship was dropping bombs and the explosions were closing in on the tank. "Ok." "ok " "Open the door." "Ok, uh Sheila, will you please open the door?" said caboose "Drive canopy open" said Sheila. "Thank you for using the M808v min Battle Ta-" said Sheila before it blew up.

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!" said Caboose "Running! "Running!" "Running!" "Man that was close."

"Look at your tank though" said Tucker. Sheila said "I'm scared, Dave." "Will I dream?" "daisy dassseeeyyy" singing Sheila.

"Sheeilaaa!" said Caboose "Noooo!"

"What!" said tucker "No!" "Sheila!" "Sheila!" "wait" "Who's Sheila?" asked Tucker

"Sheila the lady in the tank." "She was my friend." said Caboose "Oh, dude!" said Tucker "I knew you could pick up chicks in the tank!"

(At Blue base)

Tucker is calling in for Blue Command and he managed to get the black stuff off his outfit.

"This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha." said Tucker "Do you read me?" "Ok, that is the last of it" said Caboose. "Your armor is clean now. Did you get all the black stuff off?"

"This is Blue Command." "Come in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha." said Blue command "Hello command!" said Tucker "we need help." "Roger that, Blood Gulch. What is your request?"

"I don't know what the technical, military term is for it but, uh, we're pretty screwed up down here. We need men!"

"Dude how long have you guys been down there?" said Blue command "No, no... Not like that -we need more men to help us." said Tucker "Roger that." said Blue command "Did you get the tank we sent?"

"Yeah, that got blown up, too" said Tucker "Wow, sucks to be you." said Blue command "Yeah, we know." said Tucker "Ok, here's what I can do. "The nearest Blue forces can be there in 16 days, or I- ""16 days"? said Tucker as he cut of blue command. "That's almost two weeks!"

"Or I can hire a nearby freelancer and get him there within a few hours." said blue command. I like the "in an hour" one." said Caboose "Yeh, me too." said Tucker "Roger that, Command. We prefer the quicker solution" said Tucker "10-4, Blood Gulch." said Blue Commander "We will contact Freelancer Tex and have him there post-haste. Command out." said Command Blue.

"Whoever he is, make sure he can fix a tank." said Tucker "What 's a freelancer?" asked Caboose "Freelancers are independent." "They're not Red or Blue." " They're just guns for hire who will fight for whoever has the most money."

"Like a mercenary." said Caboose "Right or like your mom when the rent's due." said Tucker "Oh, that's funny." "Yeah, you didn't think that was too obvious? asked Tucker. "No, no, no, at all." "That was good" replied Caboose.

"Tucker-." "Tucker-." said the ghost of a person. "Who the hell are you." said Tucker "I am the ghost of Church and I've come back with a warning!" said in a ghostly voice. "You're no Church" "Church is Blue" You're white!" said Caboose.

"Rookie, shut up man!" said Church "I'm a freaking ghost! Have you ever seen a Blue ghost before? Now I got to start over again." "Tucker-" "Tucker-" "I've come back with a warning!"

"Is it really necessary to do the voice?" said Tucker "Yeah, it's kind of annoying." said Caboose

"Fine!" said Church "Ok, here's the deal. I've comeback from the dead to give you a warning about Tex. Don't let-"

"What's the warning" asked Caboose.

"Shut up, for once second and I'll tell you!" said Church. "Oh, sorry." said Caboose.

"Seriously, man!" said Church really annoyed by Caboose. "I mean, I'm coming back from the great beyond here. Do you think it's easy? It's not! It's not just, you know, pop in and out whenever I feel like it. It takes a lot of concentration."

"Sorry." said Caboose "I mean it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with. But now I come back and I can't even get a word in edgewise, man. "Sigh" Ok here's the deal" said Church. "Is this the warning?" asked Caboose.

"All right, that's it." said Church "I swear to God, Caboose, your ass is hunted. When we're done here, I'm going to haunt you."

"Yeah, you're even starting to bug me" said Tucker "Ok, Tucker, you remember that I told you I was stationed on Sidewinder before they transferred me here to Blood Gulch, right?" said Church. "What, No" said Tucker "Sidewinder?" asked Caboose "Isn't that the ice planet?" "Yes" said Church. "Cool!" said Caboose "What was that like"

"Uh, it was cold." said Church "That's it? asked Caboose "Just cold?" "What do you want from me, a poem" asked a annoyed Church "It's a planet made entirely out of ice." "It's really freaking cold." said Church "Would you just let him talk?" said Tucker. "All right" said Church

(Flashback Church narration)

"Well, one day when I was there and everything was just like normal. I remember I was out on patrol with my partner, Jimmy. That jimmy was real good kid Everybody liked him."

"Do you think I was a good Kid, Church?" said Tucker (offscreen) "Tucker don't get jealous, man. Just listen to the story, ok?" said Church

"Like I said, guys were hanging around, waiting for some action, complaining about the cold."

"Man it's stinking cold" said a Blue guy. "I hope we get some action" said an other guy

"Anyway, Jimmy was in the middle of telling me all about this girlfriend he had back home." said Church

"Yep, soon as I get back, I'm gonna git down on one knee and asked her to marry me" said Jimmy

"And that's when Tex showed up. "Church "Private Mickey was the first to go." "He was halfway across the base when all of sudden he just started screaming bloody murder. "Bloody murder" "Bloody murder" said Mickey

"The whole thing was over before it even started. " said Church as every blue guy died. "Poor jimmy was the last to go." "Tex walked up to him, pulled Jimmy's skull right out of his head, and beat him to death with it."

(Flashback over)

"Wait a second" said Tucker "How do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible." "That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming." said Church.

(Back to the flashback)

"This doesn't seem physically possible!"said Jimmy as Tex beat's Jimmy with his own skull "Hurk!" "Blehhh!" as Jimmy died.

(Back at blue base)

" Bottom line is, these freelancers, they're bad news, and Tex is one of the worst." said Church "If he's such a bad ass, why didn't he kill you?" said Caboose

"To this day I do not know why I'm not dead." said Church "He could have killed me at any point. But maybe it's because Tex and I have run into each other once before."

"Where?" asked Tucker. He really wants to know. "You, uh, you remember that girl I told you back home?" "Well, let's just say that Tex is the real reason why we never got married." "Guys, I'm fading fast and I don't know when I'll be back." "Just listen to my warning." "Don't let Tex get involved here."

"Ok" said Tucker "I mean it, Tucker." said Church "No fighting, no scouting, nothing. You'll regret it- "said Church as he faded. "So Tex and Church were after the same girl." "I told you his girlfriend was a tramp." said Caboose

Behind them while they are talking, a dark armor person was standing in the distance from them.

(Red base)

Lopez was fixing the Jeep while Grif was explaining to Sarge what happened to the Jeep.

"And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but, uh- well, that's when the tank showed up, and shit just started blowing up." said Grif

"Sigh" "Grif, do you have any godly idea how much this piece of equipment cost? And what we had to pay to let a doctor see Rex." said Sarge "-I-I don't know, like what?" said a Grif "$10","$20?" "$25" uh, you- you're gonna kill me now, aren't you?"

"Tell you what, Grif. I'm a fair man. I'll give you a 10-second head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya." said Sarge. As Lopez dropped his tool's he started to look at Grif.

"Guys, I just want you to know, I'm really sorry about the Jeep and Rex like really, really sorry here-" said Grif "Five Mississippi." "Six Mississippi" said Sarge as Lopez readied his Gun and took aim. "Ok, uh, I guess I better get going, then." said Grif he walked away as Sarge and Lopez looked at each other and then shot Grif.

"Hey guy's that's not funny!" said Grif "Somebody could get hurt here!"

(Back to Blue base)

"That's basically it, sir." said Tucker, as Tex is shooting a gun. "They have six guys over there and a big jeep." said Tucker. "And your flag." said Tex with a deep voice. "Right, that too" said Tucker.

Tex threw a grenade "Uh, Hey Tex?" said Tucker "I don't know what it's been like at your other base, but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here. " said Tucker as there was caboose next to a rock with a lot of bullet holes around it.

"I'm scared." said Caboose as he walked to where the other's were. "So, you've got the special Forces black armor, I see. Were you in the special Forces at some point?" asked Tucker.

Tex said nothing as he reloaded the gun. "Yeah, I used to have black armor, too." said Tucker. "It was black because I got this stuff all over it from the-" he couldn't continue because Tex left. "Oh, ok, you got you go?" said Tucker "I'll see you later."

"I don't think he likes you" whispered Caboose to Tucker. "Thanks" said Tucker as they both walked toward the edge and asked "Where you going?" Tex turned around and answered "Red Base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back." as Tex turned back and run toward the Red base.

"Oh Ok! said Caboose "We'll just stay here and guard the transporter."

(Red Base)

Grif, Rex, Donut, and Simmons were talking. Rex was looking down at the ground. He thought he saw something.

"So Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed." said Grif "Probably because some people didn't believe in it."

"Bullshit." said Rex "He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he's going to suspend your weapon privileges" said Simmons

"Hey, since I captured the flag, do you think they'll give me my own color armor now? said Donut as he held the flag.

"What do you mean, captured?" asked Simmons. "You thought you were buying it at the store, you idiot." said Rex "Still, you think there's a shot? asked Donut "Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor since he destroyed the warthog and endangered Rex" said Simmons.

"Yeah" said Grif before he thought of something. "Wait, you don't- you don't think they do that, do you?" Rex just sighed and decided to clean his motorcycle and his weapon's. He still has headache's.

(Back where Sarge and Lopez were at)

"Try connecting that hose to that metal thingy there." said Sarge as he has to idea what to do. "I think that's what's making that rattle." Lopez tuned around and stared at Sarge for a few second's "Uh, I think I'll let you do it." said Sarge.

Lopez went back to work on the Jeep. Sarge thought he saw something "what was that?"

(Where Grif, Simmons, and Donut are at)

"Simmons, what's going on?" asked Grif to Simmons "I thought I saw something for a second." said Simmons as he look down on the ground.

"Hey, rookie, tuck the flag someplace safe until we can figure out what's going on." said Rex to Donut "Good idea" said Donut "I was sick of carrying this thing, anyway." said Donut as he left.

"Did you hear that?" said Simmons. " Yeah" said Grif, "Hey what's going on" whispered Simmons. Just then a visible Tex threw a Bright Blue ball and it stuck to Donuts head. Simmons and Grif turn around.

"What's that" said Grif as he pointed to the blue ball sticking to Donut head. "What?" asked Donut. "There's something on your head!" said Grif.

"What? Is it a spider?" said Donut "Get it off!" "No it's no a spider." said Simmons "It's like a blue thing." said Simmons.

"What? Like a blue spider?" asked Donut "Get it off!" "It's not a spider!" said Grif "Calm down" "It's some kind of fuzzy pulsating thing." said Grif

"That doesn't sound much better than a spider." said Donut "Dose it hurt?" said Simmons ."No" said Donut "Maybe we should try to take it off." said Simmons "Good idea" said Grif

"Go for it." said Grif to Simmons. "Me?" said Simmons "By "we", I mean you." said Simmons "Asshole." said Simmons

"Well, somebody needs to get it off." said Donut "Look, it might be dangerous!" The blue ball exploded. Donut was knocked out. "Son of a !"said Grif, and Simmons. Before they knew it Tex became visible and beat Simmons and then he turned invisible. "Where did he go" said Grif "Don't kill me!" said Grif

(Blue base)

Caboose had the sniper rifle and zooming on Red base You could hear Grif say "I'm too good looking to die!" " Man, he is really kicking their asses." said Caboose. "How come I never get the stinking sniper rifle?" said Tucker.

"I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs." said Caboose "Sure makes things a lot easier on us." said Tucker "Yeah" said Caboose. "I think switching Tex for Church was a good trade."

"It definitely seems like your killing Church is starting to work out for us." said Tucker "You know, you think so?" said Caboose. "You know I was going to say something, but uh, wait, no. "Did Tex get in the base" said Tucker as Caboose zoomed in on Tex. And Tex entered the base..

"Blue team flag returned" said A voice.

"What the-" said Tucker "who said that" said Tucker and he turned around to see Church. "Ahem, sorry." said Church. "That was me." "I, uh, I guess I had something stuck in my throat."

"Your flag is back, by the way." said Church. "Hey! It's Church!" said Caboose. "Yeah its me" said Church. "Hey, Caboose" said Church. "Hey, Church, what are you up to?" said Caboose.

"Hey Caboose" said Church laughing. "I'm not really here to make small talk, ok?" said Church. "How'd you guys manage to get your flag back?" 'What?' "oh, that flag?" said Tucker "We've always had that." "Tucker, who do you think you're try to fool?"

"Hey, wait a second." said Church "Where's Tex?" "I'm not really sure." said Tucker "He said he was going to go to the store, something about, uh, elbow grease."

"Oh great." said Church "This is so typical!" "What was the one thing I told you guys the last time I appeared?" "That sidewinder is cold? said Caboose

"Ugh! What was the other one thing I told you?" asked Church. "Not to let him get involved?" said Tucker "Right. And what did you do?" asked Church. "We let him get involved." said Tucker "And not just a little involved." said Church. "How involved?"

"Very, very involved." said Caboose

(Back at Red Base)

Rex heard the explosion so he went and found out what happened. He Ran to the ruff and found out Simmons, Grif, and Donut knock out. Sarge and Lopez ran to the ruff found out Rex checking on Donut.

"What happened" said Sarge "I left to clean my bike I heard a explosion and found out all three like this way" said Rex "I see" said Sarge "Let's go find the intruder" all three of them ran and left to find Tex.

""Freeze." said Sarge and Rex at the same time aiming there gun's at Tex. Tex turned around to go back but found Lopez blocking his way. "Drop your weapon" said Sarge as all three aim at Tex. Tex dropped his weapon.

"Sir, permission to knock him out, sir?" said Rex. Rex had found out his friend's were knocked out, and he was not done yet cleaning his bike yet.

"Hey kid."said Tex "What" said Rex "You really better hope the first one knocks me out." said Tex as Rex knocked him out with his gun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Do not know Red VS Blue it's own by Rooster Teeth. {Other language's}**

"Aw. What the-. My freakin' head. Jesus." Said Grif as he woke up and saw Simmons checking over Donut. "He's hurt, Grif" said Simmons as he look over at Donut. "He'll make it, but we need to get him some help fast."

"Yeah, yeah. Hold on a second. What happened here?" asked Grif "First Donut's head exploded, and then you fainted, and then some black thing showed up and started-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa wait" said Simmons as he does not want to look like a wimp. "I did not say faint, something knocked me out." "Ok, fine, keep lying to yourself." said Grif "Whatever helps you sleep at night." "Man, just go find Sarge or Rex." said Simmons "We need to get Donut outta here."

"Yeah, sure" said Grif said as he went out to find Sarge. "Oh, and- uh, I'm fine by the way. Thanks for asking."

"What ever, no one likes you, anyway." said Simmons

(At the Blue base)

Caboose was zooming in on the Red base to find Grif running.

"Yep, he's definitely captured. Or dead" said Caboose "Captured or dead. Ah! or captured and dead!"

"Oh, well, that's just perfect!" said a sarcastic Church. "What? What is your problem! Why do you even care if he's captured?" asked a confused Tucker "I thought you hated that guy anyway for stealing your girlfriend."

"I never said I hated Tex." said Church "I just said that she was the reason why we never got married." "HER?" said a confused Caboose.

(Back to Red base)

Lopez was aiming a gun at Tex. While Rex, Grif, Simmons and Sarge.

"What are we going to do about her." asked Rex pointing at Tex. Grif, Simmons, and Sarge just looked at Rex "Dude, it's a guy" said Grif "Yeah" said Simmons "It's a women" said Rex. "No- Tex is not a man" said Grif "Dude- Tex is a man." said Simmons.

"Dude's- Tex is a Women" said Rex he was irritated that no one was believed Tex was a women "How about a deal" said Rex "If Tex is a man I will give you guys 2 hundred dollars each." said Rex pointing at Simmons and Grif. "But if Tex is a women you guys will owe me 2 hundred dollars." said Rex he knew it was a voice filter on Tex. "deal." said Grif and Simmons said at the same time.

"Any way" said Simmons "Sarge, we need to get Donut air-lifted out of here." said Simmons as he was talking to Sarge now. As Lopez was aiming his gun at Tex. Rex and Grif were talking about other stuff.

"Could you put that in a memo and title it "Shit I already know!" "Get on the horn with command! Well, look who's up." said Sarge as he looked at Tex who was waking up. "Rise 'n shine, buttercup."

Tex was about to talk but her suit was sparking and a distorted voice came out. "Oh, great!" said Tex in a female voice. "You broke my voice filter! You assholes!"

No one beside Rex could believe Tex was a girl "Ah I knew it. You guys owe me 400 dollars." said Rex as he pointed his gun at Simmons and Grif. "Shit" said Simmons and Grif.

"You guys know, I believe that only a chick could give me a headache this big!" said Grif.

(Blue team base)

"Let me get this straight" said Tucker "You're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose, and beat the hell out of the Reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick? And on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?"

"In a nutshell, yes." said Church "That's an excellent summary." 'I should have known." said Caboose "She didn't like me. Girls never like me." "Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you." said Tucker "I like me." said Caboose.

"I don't think Iv'e seen a girl be mean before." said Tucker "Are you sure she's a chick and not a guy, or like part guy, part shark?" "I'm pretty sure I would know if Tex was a guy, and I'm definitely sure I would know if she was part shark." said Church

"Wait, wait, wait" said Caboose "If she's a girl, then why is she named Tex?" "Uh, because she's from Texas." said Church

Caboose just stared at Church at a few second's. "Trust me, it makes sense." said Church "And you can't blame her for being so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with." "Right. You should blame God. First he makes hangovers, and now half women, half sharks that won't even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing God." said Tucker as he look up on the sky.

"Will you shut up with that!" said Church "She got recruited into some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where they infused her armor with this really aggressive AI. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell."

"AI. What's the A stand for? asked Caboose "Artificial" said Church "What's the I-" said Caboose "Intelligence!" said Church Interrubt Caboose. "Ohh what was the A again?" said Caboose.

"Let's move on." said an irritated Church "So the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer, but underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down home girl?" "Oh, hell no." said Church "She's always been a rotten brat. It's just that now she's a rotten brat with cybernetic enhancements."

"Wow!" said Tucker "Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Good catch there, buddy. She's a keeper."

"So how are you doing Caboose?" said Church "Are you following any of this whatsoever?" "I think so." said Caboose "That guy Tex is really a robot, and You're his boyfriend. So that makes you a gay robot!"

"Yeah, that's right." said Church "I'm a gay robot." He could not believe Caboose was this stupid.

(Back at Red base)

Grif, and Rex and Simmons were watching Tex.

"So" said Grif "You're a girl, huh?" "Just ignore him" said Rex "That's what we do." said Simmons

"Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are you?" said Grif "Dude I'm pretty sure she could kill you." said Rex. He does not want to find out if she could kill him or the other's.

"The kid is right, I don't need a weapon to kill you." said Tex "Yeah, right!" said Grif "What are you gonna do, punch me?"

Tex just walked fast to Grif and Grif ran back "AHH!" said Grif "Not the face!" Rex just laughed at that.

(Blue base)

"Well, don't worry, because I have a great plan for how we're going to rescue Tex." said Church

"A plan?" said Tucker "Oh, man I hate plans. That means we're going to do stuff. Can't we just have a strategy or a mission statement?" "I just need you guys to run a distraction while I spring Tex." "Distraction" said Caboose "Huh that sounds a lot like decoy."

"The way I see it, the Red have absolutely no idea how many freelancers we have out here." said Church "So what I need from the two of you is to run around in the middle of the canyon wearing black armor while I sneak in the back of the base." "Sounds good." said Tucker "But Church, where the hell are we going to get two suits of black armor?"

Church just turned to the teleporter and Tucker followed were Church was looking at. "Oh, crapberries."

(At the end of the teleporter)

Just then a black armor guy walked out of the teleporter

"Are you ok Tucker?" asked Church "Yeah, I'm fine." said Tucker. Tucker and Church ran to the top of the hill

"Come, on, Caboose!" said Tucker "Does it hurt?" yelled Caboose at the Blue base "No, not at all." said Tucker "Ok!" yelled Caboose "Here I come!"

"Does it hurt for real" said Church "Oh yeah, big time" said Tucker. Few second's later Caboose in Black armor came through the teleporter. "Geez! You lied to me." said Caboose in a low voice

(Back on top of Red base)

Sarge was at the top of Red base.

"Ah, damn it!" said Sarge "Lopez, c'mere. " Just then Lopez walked to Sarge. "Do you see something out there?" On the ground of the Red base you can see Simmons, Grif, and Rex talking

"There's no L in it" said Simmons "It's pronounced "Both."" "That's what I'm saying." said Grif "Bolth." "Both." said Simmons "You sound like such an ass the way you say it." said Grif "You guys can argue about anything." said Rex to Simmons and Grif.

"Grif!" yelled Sarge on top of Red base. "Quit yer yammerin' and get yer keester up here! Need some help! Got more of them special ops fellas headed toward the base." "As in more than one?" asked Grif "Uh, maybe bolth should go, sir."

"Both!" said Simmons yelled and Rex, Rex was seriously getting annoyed. "Seriously like an ass." said Grif "Well, well!. Another brilliant idea from the thick tank." said Sarge

"Why don't you three come up? Leave the prisoner alone. We could put her on the honor system, have her guard herself." "Good point, sir" said Grif "You're God damn right it is!" yelled Sarge 'Now git yer ass up here. We got just enough time for me and Rex to spray paint the bullseye on your back. And by bullseye, I of course mean camouflage. Now move it, cupcake."

"Yeah I'll be right up"said Grif

(Back were Church was at the cliff)

"Hey, Tucker, come in, man." said Church "You there." said Church on his communicator "This is Church. The orange one is coming out of the base. I repeat" said Church

(Back were Tucker and Caboose are at)

"Repeat the orange one is coming out of the base." said Church in a static voice "Roger that." said Tucker "Oh, oh, oh! Tucker, Tucker, Tucker! Is that- Is that Church? asked Caboose and Church was talking at the same time.

"Ok, just keep moving outside the base." said Church through the communicator "and draw their attention." Tell him that I- that I said from me, to say hi." Tucker turned away from Caboose "Wait, wait, wait Hey what?" asked Tucker "I missed that Caboose was talking to me." Tucker turn back to Caboose "Shut up, man, I'm on the radio!"

(Back on the cliff)

"I said keep moving out-" said Church "I'm not yelling!" said Tucker on the radio. "I'm just telling you to let me finish talking to Church! No, I'll tell you he said hi later. No, you can't talk to him! How could you possibly talk to him on my headset?"

"Oh my God." said Church as he turn off his headset "I can't believe I actually died for this war."

(top of Red base)

Grif had a sniper rifle and was looking for the mercenaries while Lopez and Rex were standing beside him.

"I don't see any- uh oh." said Grif as he zoomed to were Tucker and Caboose were at. "Yup there's one." Caboose was just standing next to the rock. "Why is he just standing there?" "Well two thing's- one he's stupid or two he's the guy who's going to draw your fire. I just think he's just stupid". said Rex

(Where Tucker and Caboose are at)

"Caboose." said Tucker as he ducked behind a hill "Get behind the rock. They can still see you."

"They can't see me!" whispered Caboose "I can't see them!" "That's because you're facing the rock." said Tucker "oh, right." said Caboose as he hid behind the rock. "Real smooth, dipshit." said Tucker

(Red base)

"They're definitely Special ops." said Sarge "I ain't seen troop movements this coordinated since my days on sidewi-wa-kika-herger!" Church then snuck behind Sarge and took control of him. Rex, Lopez and Grif turn around to see what Sarge was doing.

"Sir. Are you ok?" asked Grif "Uh, who you talking to, Red" said Church "Me?" "No, I'm talking to Lopez because, you know, that's real rewarding." Lopez tried to hit Grif "Hey, what did I tell you about that?" said Grif to Lopez.

"Uh, I'm fine. That's- I'm just so mad about- Theses, uh, God damn Blues out here." said Sarge "I'm so God damn mad, I could spit." Church spits in side of Sarge helmet.

"Uh, sir?" said Rex "Did you just spit inside your own helmet?" Rex wanted to know if Sarge was ok. "Uh, yeah. I guess I did." said Church "Permission to speak freely, sir?" said Grif "Go ahead." said Church "That's really freakin' gross."

(Where Tucker and Caboose are at)

"Hey, Tucker?" said Caboose "What" said Tucker "I'm having a really good time with you- "

"That's great, Caboose" said Tucker as he interrupted Caboose "Yeah, it's like we're real soldiers!" "Would you please go hide behind another rock?" said Tucker

(Where Tex is at)

Simmons was guarding Tex. When Sarge/Church came in.

"Hey man." said Sarge "What's up, yo?" "Uh, hey?" said Simmons "What's going out there, sir?" "What's, uh- why, nothin'. Why would you ask if something's wrong?" "I think that's a perfectly normal question in a time of war." "Yeah, well, I don't know. You're startin' to act kind of suspicious there, other red guy. So i'm keepin' my eye on you" said Church

"Sarge, I'm starting to think that- ow! Geez, back of my head!" said Simmons as Simmons turn toward Tex. Church charged at Simmons and hit him on the head with a gun.

"What the hell are you doing?" said Tex. She could not believe she saw the Sargent hit his own man. "Tex, it's me, Church. I've come to rescue you." "You're kind of short to be Church." said Tex "What? Oh yeah right the armor. Hurk!" said Church as he exits Sarge's body armor. "What in Sam Hill?" said Sarge after Church had exited his body. "Where the- Who spit in my visor?"

"Tex, there's not much time to explain, so i'm going to give you the summary here, ok? I'm a spirt now, I'm trapped in the physical world. I possessed this Red guy so that I could sneak into the base and rescue you while the rest of our guys run around out in the middle of the canyon dressed in black armor that they got from going through the teleporter." said Church

"Ok" said Tex "What?" asked Church "That's it? Ok? You're not surprised by any of this?" "No, it pretty much all makes sense." Not even the whole' Church is a ghost' thing? That didn't do anything for you?" said Church. "I can see right through you. It's pretty obvious." said Tex. "Ok, well, let me hop back in this guy and we'll get out of here" said Church

Church jumped back in Sarge's body "Hurk!" said Sarge

(Back where Caboose and Tucker are at)

Caboose was standing on a rock with a sniper rifle.

"What are you doing?" asked Tucker "One of the reds has Tex." said Caboose as he zoomed on where Tex and Sarge/Church was at. "I'm going to shoot him and kill him and free Tex. Then Church will forgive me for killing him, and we will be friends." "Oh, come on!" said Tucker "You don't actually believe any of that, do you?" "Oh, we're gonna be best friends." said Caboose as he zoomed and aimed at Church's head.

(Where Church and Tex are at)

"All right, I'll make one more distraction, then you run up to the teleporter and escape." said Church "Ready?" One. Two. thr- before he could finished he got shoot again by Caboose. "What the- where did my body go! Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" You could here Caboose said "Tucker did it!"

(Ghost world [or something like that])

It was white and it looked like blood Gultch.

"Hello!" asked Sarge in a echo voice as he walked on top of the hill. "Hello! I said Hello! hello! Is anybody out here?" "Holy cow, would you stop yelling? said Church as he went near Sarge on the hill. "I'm here."

"What is this place?" asked Sarge "Well, that's kind of hard to explain. Um, you were shot in the head, buddy." "So here you are." "Am I dead." asked Sarge

"Are you dead? Well, yeah." said Church "That's how I ended up here." "Are some kind angel?" asked Sarge

Church just laughed at that. "Am I an angel!" Church said "Uh, yeah, actually I am. I'm a angel. uh, do you want to go to heaven? 'Cause it's like $10 to get in.'

"Well, I- I didn't really bring any-I mean my wallet's back in the car" said Sarge "Hey, you don't have it there, huh?" said Church "Well, uh, that's too bad. Pretty crappy reason to be damned to hell for an eternity." I don't remember dyin'." said Sarge "yeah, that's my fault, too. I was sort of possessing your body at the time that you were shot. Sorry about that."

"Hold on a second." said Sarge he was confused. "That ain't fair." "Not fair?" said Church "Yeah, join the frickin' club. I got shot by my own tank."

Behind them was Sheila who said "Target locked." "Oh ha ha Sheila very funny. Shut up! You know, I still haven't forgiven you. I didn't say you could talk to me yet. Go over there- get- go over by the base. Shoo!" said Church "Shoo!" Sheila's main gun looked down and dove toward the base.

(Back at Blood Gulch)

Rex, Grif and Simmons were near Sarge's body Grif was squatting next to Sarge body.

"Sarge! Don't you give up on me, soldier!" said Grif as he was crunching down near Sarge. "Do you hear me? I'm ordering you!"

(Back to ghost world [or some thing like that])

"Who is that?" said Sarge as he heard Grif's words. "Who's there?" "Looks like your guys are trying to save you." said Church

(Back at Blood Gulch)

"You gotta breathe, man!" said Grif as he punched Sarge. "Grif, stop I think you're making it worse. That's not what they teach us when somebody is dying." said Rex. He could not believe Grif was punching Sarge. "You gotta pull through!" said Church as he ignored Rex "Come on, Sarge!"

(Back to ghost world)

"That is not the way you were trained to do that, private!" said Sarge he could not believe Grif was punching his body. "He can't hear you." said Church.

(Back at Blood Gulch)

"Grif, this isn't working." said Simmons "We have to try something else." "I think he should try mouth to mouth." said Rex. He chuckled at the thought of Grif kissing Sarge.

(Back Ghost World)

"If he is giving you mouth to mouth, I'm leaving" said Church.

(Back at Blood Gulch)

"I agree with Rex I think you should give him mouth to mouth?" said Simmons

(Back Ghost World)

"I'm leaving." said Church "I can't believe how hard they're trying to save me." "Why wouldn't they?" said Church he was confused why wouldn't they save they Sargent. "I mean, my team didn't, but why wouldn't yours?" "I thought they didn't like me." said Sarge.

"Oh, don't sell yourself short. I don't even know you, and here I am about to guide you to heaven for only $5." said Church "Hold on." said Sarge "If you're an angel, how come you ain't got no wings?" "Because nobody rang a bell." said Church as he laughed. "Seriously, do you have the money or don't you?"

"Oh, I feel the worst about Grif." said Sarge "I always made fun of him. I never even told him he was my son." "The orange guy's your son?" said Church "Nah. I just wanted to screw with him one last time." said Sarge "But now I'll never git that chance."

(Back at Blood Gulch)

"He's breathing!" said Grif he could not believe he saved Sarge. "I saved Sarge." "How is that possible" asked Rex to no one.

(Back at Ghost world)

"I'm what!" said Sarge "He's what!" said Church "Well, I'll be a monkey's- They saved me." said Sarge "What?" said Church "No. Come back! We need to even the sides! "Thanks for your help wingless angel fella." said Sarge as he disappeared "Will I remember any of this?" "Yes." said Church "But only if you give me 2$."

(Back at Blood Gulch)

"Dude what will happen if Sarge doesn't wake up" said Grif to Simmons and Rex "Don't worry I know a trick to wake up the Sarge. Hey Sarge, If you don't wake up know Grif will be the new Sargent!" yelled Rex. Simmons and Grif just looked at Rex and Grif said "Dude thats not going to work."

Just then Sarge woke up coughing. "Hah!" said Sarge. He heard Rex say "I knew it would work." to Grif and Simmons "What- what happened here?" said Sarge as he look around and saw Rex, Grif and Simmons "You got shot in the head, so we gave you CPR. And saved you, sir" said Simmons. " I always believed in you two, Simmons and Rex." Rex and Simmons look at each other. "Uh, actually it's Grif you should thank, sir." said Rex

"He did all the work." said Simmons. Sarge turned behind him where Grif was standing. "Grif?" said Sarge. "Yes sir." said Simmons "Grif, why the hell would you give CPR for a bullet wound in the head?" said Sarge "That doesn't make a lick of sense!"

Grif just sighed. "You're welcome, sir." said Grif "I mean it's all so damn inconsistent. What would you do if they stabbed me in the toe, rub my neck with aloe vera?"

(A while later at the Red base Roof )

Simmons and Grif was looking at Donut in pink new armor.

"Dude this is sweet." said Donut "Command was so happy that I got the Blue flag, they gave me my own color armor!" Simmons and Grif look at each other.

"Uh, hey Donut?" said Grif "What." said Donut. "Um, about your armor." said Simmons "What about it?" said Donut "How do I put this?" said Simmons "Your armor is, um-it's a little, um-Grif, you want to help me out here?" said Simmons "It's pink." said Grif "Your armor is frickin pink." "Yeah. that's it." said Simmons "Pink."

"My armor's not pink!" said Donut. Just then Rex showed up. "Um, who's the Pink armor girl?" asked Rex. He thought Donut would return today. "It's not pink." Donut snapped at Rex "And I'm not a girl." "What? Donut is that you?" said Rex "Yes" said Donut "Oookkk Why do you have pink armor?" "It's not pink!" said Donut

"Dude, It's pink" said Rex "See Rex agrees" said Grif "Yeah, definitely pink." said Simmons "You guys are colorblind." said Donut "Why would they give me pink armor?" "Hey, don't ask, don't tell." said Grif. Simmons and Rex chucked "That's not funny." said Simmons "It's a little funny" said a laughing Grif

"Look at it!" said Donut "It's like, uh, a lightish red." "Guess what." said Grif "They already have a color for lightish red. You know what it's called? Pink." "I hate you guys." said Donut

Sarge came from the ramp with lopez following him. "Well, hello, dirtbags. And a fine hello to you, Madame." said Sarge "It's light red!" said Donut "Don't get your panties in a wad there, Barbie." said Sarge "Do you have a package for me?"

"Yes" sir." said Donut "Excellent" said Sarge "They said this speech unit should work with Lopez." said Donut "Speech unit?" asked Grif "Here you go." said Donut as he handed the speech unit to Sarge. "Affirmative" said Sarge "Command was fresh out of speech modules when I started building lopez, but once I get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone intelligent to talk to. No offense Simmons and Rex." Oh, don't worry." said Simmons "I know who you mean, sir.

"Wait a second." said Grif "Lopez is a robot?" Of course he is" said Rex. "You didn't notice that he never talks?" "I just thought he was a really quiet guy." said Grif "And the fact that he sleeps standing up and drinks motor oil didn't get your attention?" said Sarge.

"Well, I-I did think the motor oil thing was a bit odd. I just thought he was trying to impress me." said Grif "Hey, sir, you really should ground yourself before handing that card." said Simmons

"How come?" asked Sarge "Because static could damage the card," "Come on, that's an urban legend they use to sell those stupid bracelets." said Sarge. Rex, Grif and Simmons look at each other. "I suppose Pop Rocks and Soda are gonna make my stomach blow up." said Sarge as he put in the chip. "Yow" said Sarge as Lopez was glitching "Sir, I won't say I told you so, sir" said Simmons. "Good" said Sarge "I'd hate to make strawberry shortcake out of my favorite private."

"It's not pink!" said Donut

(Blue base)

You could here Donut yell "It's Lightish red!" Tucker and Caboose were talking on the ground while Tex was on the base top."Man!" said Caboose panting as he got the black stuff out of Tuckers armor "You know, this stuff does not come off easy." "Yeah, this was a lot easier when we were cleaning just my armor."

"Yeah, I know" said Caboose "That's, I think, because, you know, uh, you didn't do anything!" yelled Caboose "I'm sorry, what? It's kind of hard to hear you over the sound of your constant team killing." said Tucker "Ah- ah-" said Caboose sarcasticly laughing " Ah, ah yeah, Ahhh! Don't make me mad."

(Back at Red base)

"So what happened to me anyway?" said Donut "I recalled something about a spider on my head?" "Right." said Grif "That was a grenade." "And the last thing I remember is a loud bang, and then Simmons fainting." said Donut. "Ha! Told you so!" said Grif. Rex is laughing about Simmons fainting. "I did not faint." said Simmons "Yeah right." said Rex.

"Done and Done." said Sarge as he was done implanting the chip. "Lopez, activate speech unit." said Sarge in an ordering voice. A click was heard. Lopez was speaking Spanish words for 10 seconds. ( **I Do not know Spanish) "** Am I the only one not understanding any of this?" said Donut "Me llamo es Lopez" said Lopez "Lopez!" said Grif "He just said Lopez! I think I understood that. I can speak Spanish!"

"Lopez, speak English." said Sarge. Lopez just spoke Spanish again. "Huh." said Simmons "I think you shorted out his speech unit with that static, sir." "Maybe princess peach here picked up the wrong model." "Seriously sir, For the last time, not pink." said Donut. Sarge just ignored Donut. "Lopez, I order you to speak a language we understand." "{Negativo}." said Lopez "I think he said No." said Rex.

"Well, this is just dandy" said Sarge then he spoke slowly "Lopez, how do we fix your speech unit?" "Why are you talking so slow?" asked Grif "He understands us just fine. Maybe you should try listening slower." "Lopez. would you like to shoot Grif?" asked Sarge "Si, senor." said Lopez. He aimed his gun at Grif. Rex just backed away from Grif slowly. "Gracias"

(Near Blue Base)

"As far as I'm concerned, I'm square with you." said Tex. Tucker and Caboose looked at Church. "I saved you from a life of imprisonment. How the hell are you square with me?" asked Church. Tucker and Caboose turned back at Tex. "Because I didn't kill you back at Sidewinder." they looked back at Church. "You know, I don't really see how not killing somebody is the same thing as doing a them a favor." They looked back at Tex "Well, if you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now." No you can't" said Church "I'm already dead, bitch! I guess the joke's on you."

"Stop it!" yelled Caboose "Stop fighting! Can't you see that you're tearing us apart? What about us!" "What about you?" said Tex. "We helped you, too." said Caboose sounding like he was almost about to cry "And what do we get? Nothing!" "Well, yeah, but-" said Tex "Yeah, but nothin." said Church "He's got a point." "I did help them get the flag back." said Tex "Yeah, but you were paid to do that." said Tucker "We rescued you as a favor. We could have just let you rot in the Red army prison. It wouldn't have made any difference to us."

"Fine." said Tex "I'll stay here as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing. As soon I have I'm out of here. What do you need me to do?" "I have no idea." said Tucker "If you know how to fix a tank I would have you do that." "Ok" said Tex "Wait. You- you know how you fix Sheila?" few second's later. "I love you." said Caboose

(Back at Red base)

Simmons, Grif, and Rex, and Donut were staring at Lopez

Lopez was speaking Spanish for a long time. "Man." said Grif "First he doesn't talk at all, and now we can't get him to shut up. What's he saying.?" "What are you asking me for?" said Simmons "Well, you know because you're of, uh, the Latino persuasion."

"Simmons isn't a Spanish name, you dumbass. I'm Dutch Irish." said Simmons "But I thought-" said Grif "What?" "Oh, never mind ." I'm from Iowa." said Donut "Nobody cares!" yelled both Grif and Simmons

(Where the tank was at.)

Caboose, Tex, Tucker and Church were near the tank.

"Ok, take it easy, guys. When I was over at the Red Base, I saw that they've already got their jeep fixed and a Motorcycle." said Church Tucker was about to say something but Church cut's him off. "Tucker if you say anything about no fare they got a motorcycle to pick up chicks I will get Tex to shoot you." Tucker just look's down and said "Fine" "So whatever you do ,don't let them see us before we Sheila back online." Tex and Tucker went over to the tank.

"Ok, ok." said Caboose "Even if we get Sheila fixed, how are we going to turn her over? I mean, it's not like as if we could just lift-." before he could finish Tex flipped the tank back over. "Oh." said Caboose "She is a very strong lady."

"I'm the one that's the least visible, so I'm going to head up here to higher ground. I'll keep an eye on the Red Base. If I see anything I'll let you know." said Church. "Wait!" said Caboose "I'll come with you!" "That kind of defeats the purpose, Caboose." "Ok." What if I'm really, really quiet"" said Caboose in a whispering voice.

"Do you even understand what the term 'visibility' means?" said Church. Caboose laughed at that "ah, good one, jerk." "Seriously, you don't know what it means, do you?" asked Church "Ah, no." said Caboose "Caboose, just stay here, man, and try not to swallow your tongue or anything like that." said Church as he sprinted to the cliff's. "Just watch the Red Base and tell us if you see any movement." Tucker went near where Tex was as she is fixing the tank.

"So I suppose if you're helping us, you're not as mean as I thought." said Tucker "I wouldn't say I mean. I just get hired to do mean things." "Yeah, but you like it." said Tucker "Well, I think it's important to enjoy what you do." "So let's say I paid you to kill Caboose." said Tucker as he look at wear Caboose was at far away. "You would still do it, right? Even though you're supposed to be helping us?" Tex was just looking were Caboose was at. "Is this a hypothetical discussion, or should we start talking number?" said Tex turning back to Tucker "Yeah, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Hey Tucker! yelled Church from the top of the Cliff "What!" said Tucker "What the hell is my body still doing up here?" "That's part of being dead, Church." said Tucker "Your body doesn't really move around much anymore. Maybe you haven't fully grasped the concept yet." said Tucker "All right, well, let me rephrase that, then. Why in the hell haven't you buried my body yet?"

"Buried?" said Tucker "With what? All we have are pistols and rifles. What do you want me to do shoot you a grave?" said Tucker "Well then, how about shipping me back home?" said Church "You know, let the loved ones pay a little respect." "Well, Church, here's your girlfriend." said Tucker as he turned to Tex. "Tex, as one of Church's loved ones, would you like to pay your respect?" Tex just turned around back to the Tank "That was a stirring eulogy. Rest in peace, good buddy!"

(Where Church's dead body was at)

Tucker, Church, and Caboose was staring at Church's dead body. "I am not happy about this." said Church "I have an idea." A few second's later Caboose yelled "I have an idea!" "Yeah, heard you the first time, Caboose, we were just ignore you." said Tucker "Since you possessed that Red guy and took control of him, why don't you just possess your own body?" said Caboose. Tucker just started at Caboose.

"Oh, I see" said Church "So that way I would be living inside of my own dead body." "Yes." said Caboose "Unable to move, just laying there rotting in the sun, rotting for all eternity. " "Yes." said Caboose "Ok, Caboose. I'll be sure to get right on that." "I think you are a mean ghost." said Caboose "Dude, you really stink." said Tucker "What?" said Church "Your body It stinks!" said Tucker

"Tucker, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body." "Quit your nagging. Nothing's going to happen to it." "It's a freakin' indignity!" said Church "My body fought hard for this army, it deserves to be laid to rest."

"Get over it." said Tucker "You're already dead. What's the worst that can happen now?" "Hey, Church!" said Caboose looking at the sky. "Look! Birds! Why are they flying around in circles?" "Oh God" said Church as he looking up.

(Back at Red base)

"Ok, I'll go again." said Grif "I spy something that begins with- "Dirt" said Simmon. "Damn! How did you- " Well, because you did rock last time. That's all that's out here is rock and dirt." said Simmons "Dude's this canyon, it sucks." said Grif

(Back at the Cliff)

"How long do you figure until Tex fixes the Tank?" asked Church "Not much loner." said Tucker "She said It's going pretty well. The gun's almost working, and then she'll get it moving again." "That's just fantastic." said a sarcastic Church. "Why would that upset you?" asked Tucker "Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's going to use it against the Reds, and they're all going to die." The Reds dying is a good thing. Remember? The guy that shot you.

"No, Tucker, it's not a good thing. As soon we beat the Reds, Tex is outta here, and I still haven't figured out a way to get AI out of her head." "AI-" said Caboose "Shut up Caboose!" said Church. He does not want to do the AI thing again. "And if I don't get it out before she leaves-" "If she leaves, you won't ever find her again." said Tucker interupting Church

"Right." said Church "So what are you going to do?"asked Caboose. I guess I'm going to do the only thing that I can do. I have to warn the Reds before she fixes the tank." "You're switching sides?" said Tucker "Sorry guys." said Church "I don't have much choice." "Church, uh, what- what happens when the Reds come out here to stop Tex, and then they come also with guns and they find us?" asked a nervous Caboose "I'll try to help you as best I can. Good luck, guys." said Church as he disappeared.

"Does this mean I should try to kill Church now?" asked Caboose to Tucker "I'll tell you what. Kill me. I promise not to come back." said Tucker. Caboose looked around and said "Hey Look at this!" he zoomed at where Donut and Lopez were. "No." said Tucker "They have a girl." said Caboose "There, a girl!" "A what?" said Tucker "A girl, a girl! look! Pink armor!"

Tex was looking up where Caboose and Tucker was at. "Oh, man! How come they get a girl?" "Uh, you guys realize that I'm a chick, right? And that I'm standing right here?" "Yeah, Tex, But when we say a girl, we mean girl-girl." said Tucker "And what the hell does that mean?" "Nothing!" said Tucker and Caboose at the same time. Tucker and Caboose were looking down at Tex.

"Wait a second." said Tucker as he realized something. "If Tex heard that, do you think she heard Church's secret plan to warn the Reds about her?" "I don't know, but I think I know how to find out." Caboose looked down at Tex "Hey! Tex!" Tex turned around and looked at Caboose. "Uh, did you hear Church's secret plan to tell the Red's that you were fixing the tank?" said Caboose Tex stared at Caboose for a few seconds and then looked at the Red Base. "I don't think she knows." said Caboose

(Back at top of Red base)

Grif, Rex and Simmons were on top of the roof. Lopez was behind them.

"Hey." said Simmon to Grif and Rex "Yeah" answered Grif "You ever wonder why we're here?" said Simmons "Oh dammit not again." whispered Rex as recall the god thing again. "No." said Grif "I never, ever wonder why we're here." "Thank God." said Rex he does not want to do the God thing again.

"Keegakergerk!" said Lopez as Church came behind them and took control over him. "What's wrong with Lopez?" said Simmons "I don't care." said Grif "Hey, Lopez, uh, you ok, Man?" asked Rex {Guys, I need to give...you a...warning...What? Why am I speaking Spanish? I don't know Spanish!} said Lopez/Church "Uh, sure." said Simmons {No, listen to me! The mean woman is going to kill you! She is fixing the tank!} "I think the Lopez said something about Women and tank." said Rex

(Back at Blue Base)

"Ah, crap!" said Tucker "Caboose, she's almost done fixing Sheila I better radio Church and tell him what's going on." "oh, oh, oh Tucker, please! Please! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Please! Please! Tucker!" "Yes, you can be the one who radios Church." said Tucker

"Thanks, man." said Caboose. He turns on his radio "Calling, Church. Come in, Church. This is your close personal friend, private O'Malley." "O'Malley?" said Tucker "You said your name was Caboose. "I never said That." said Caboose "You guys did." "Why didn't you correct us?" "Because I didn't want to be difficult."

"Come in, Private Church. Soldier unit Tex almost has the armored vehicle situation rectified. Ok, we require verification of your, uh, mission-ness" said Caboose as he cleared his throat.

"How is your progression?" "{Caboose! No one here is listening to me! I can only speak Spanish for some reason!}" said Church inside Lopez body on the radio. 10 seconds later "He wants to talk to you" said Caboose to Tucker.

Back where Sheila is at "Thank you for activating the M808v Main Battle Tank," said Sheila "Oh shit! We got trouble." said Tucker as he look down at the tank.

(Red Base)

Church/Lopez was speaking slowly. Rex just stopped listened to the conversation and turned around and found the tank behind them. Rex walked away slowly toward the ramp. "Hey, I think if you're going to live in this country, you should speak the language." said Grif to Lopez/Church

"Um guy's" said Rex as he ducked behind the ramps. "What country?" said Simmon "We're on an alien planet." said Simmons "Guy's!" said Rex "What are you, a communist?" "Guys!" yelled Rex. "What{What}" yelled Grif, Simmons and Church to Rex. Just then the tank fired at the base. THE TANK IS BACK! yelled Rex as. "SON OF A!" said Grif "SON OF A!" said Simmon "{SON OF A.}" said Church

(Where Tucker and Caboose was at)

Caboose had the sniper rifle and zooming in where the tank was at.

"Ok, I'm getting really sick of asking people what's going on through that sniper rifle." said Tucker "Church is getting mad at us." said Caboose "Oh." said Tucker "Well, that's a nice change of pace.

(Near Red base)

"Simmons I'm comin' around in the Warthog!" said Sarge as he went in the driver's seat in the warthog and drove to the base.

Grif, Simmons and Rex was hiding inside the base. You could hear explosion's behind them. "Yes sir" said Simmons "I'll, uh, I'll stay here." said Grif "I'm going to stay here to" said Rex "Yeah, you two stay here and guard this cement ramp. It's vital to our success." said Simmons as he ran near the jeep and jumped on the turret.

"All right, I'm on board." said Simmons "All right, here's the plan-!" Before he could say anything else the tank shot at the jeep. "Junebug!" yelled Sarge as the jeep flipped over. Sarge and Simmons ran toward the ramp. "Wow, back so soon? Did you guys win the war already?" said Grif sarcastically just then an explosion was heard and the base shook.

"Yeah, uh, did you want to finish telling me the plan." said Simmons "If we survive this, I'm going to kill both of you. Slowly. Then get Rex to help me bury the bodies." said Sarge

"Hey!" said Donut "What are you guys doing up here?" "The chick in the black armor's back!" yelled Rex "What chick? The one that stuck the grenade to my head?" "That's the one." said Simmons "The same chick who's fault it is that I'm stuck in this light red armor?"

"Donut, I understand the need to safeguard your masculinity, but really, dude, it's a whole lot faster just to say pink." said Grif "Oh ho, oh, I've been waiting for this." said Donut as he walked to the edge of the Red base "Hey, Remember me? I saved something for ya!" yelled Donut as he threw a sticky grenade.

It flew through the air and Rex, Simmon, and Grif turned their head's to follow were it would hit something along with Lopez/Church and Tucker and Caboose. Tucker then said "Man, that girl's got a really good arm."

The sticky grenade landed on Tex. "Ah, crap!" yelled Tex. "Hell yeah, Three points, you dirty!" yelled Donut as he said that the grenade blew up.

Lopez/Church watch in horror as he sees Tex and the tank blow up."Nooo!" yelled Church. He ran were the tank was.

(Where the Red team was at)

Grif, Simmons, Sarge, and Rex saw Lopez running to the tank. He kept on screaming "Tejas! Tejas!"

"Uh, where's Lopez going?" asked Grif. "To fight the enemy head on in hand-to-hand combat. Mano y mano." said Sarge "What a brave little compadre. Lopez, I never understood a word you said, but I do know one thing. You hated Grif, and that's the most important thing there is. Adios, amigo. Adios"

"Shouldn't we help him?" asked Rex "Nah. That would just ruin the moment."

(Where Tex is at)

Church made it where Tex was. She is on the ground and there's a lot blood.

"Church, is that you?" asked Tex "It-It's gone, Church. The AI, it's gone. Thank you." said Tex as she died.

(Where Tucker and Caboose are at.)

"Crap" said Tucker and Caboose with his back turned around. "Church is going to be mad and now he's got a body to kick our ass. Come on, Caboose, let's get back to base."

"I told you, my name isn't Caboose." said Caboose "My name is O'Malley." said Caboose in a Deep voice .


End file.
